Final Fantasy XIII - Revenge of the Rant

Ah, Sith-day the perfect day to be angry and say stuff like, I really, really hate this game!

You know, I think I get it now, what really drives me apeshit-crazy over this game. I recently picked up Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remix, and I just have to say that it made me get why I hate Final Fantasy XIII so much. The writing of it all, I just don't get how bad it gets. I mean, I played through FFX and even though Yuna is an unoriginal shygirl that always needs to be rescued, and Tidus is way too annoying for me to think he's an appealing character, I still feel for them. They are still characters, and (SPOILER) when they have to part ways at the end I seriously started to tear up a bit, (but not really because I am a man!) and that's with the worst characters in the game, (well except Rikku). The point is, the story and the writing has me invested, even with the annoying characters. Annoying  doesn't make them bad characters. And I mean, both Khimari, Lulu and especially Auron are awesome badass characters. But Final Fantasy XIII has no sympathetic characters at all, constantly makes me ask one simple question over and over and over, the question all writers fear to hear about their work: WHO IN ALL THE WORLD TALK LIKE THIS?!

I mean, there is cryptic, and then there's pulling shit out of you ass! I played the demo for Lightning returns and even though they have improved some things gameplay-wise, I still don't think that Square-Enix gets why people hated Final Fantasy XIII in the first place. It's not the battle-system, it's not even the linear world (but yeah, it's that too), it is the piss-poor characters, the story with more plot holes than a Michael Bay-film, and it's a script that is nowhere near believable. 

And I'm not saying that other Final Fantasy-games had stories without plot holes, they did, especially FFX, but the thing is that Final Fantasy X still is a good game, with a good story, because it knows how to distract us from the flaws, because there is always going to be flaws. But they are just so easy to see in Final Fantasy XIII. I think much of that is the script being as bad as it is.

I realize that I have contradicted myself in my first rants, where in one I hated that the characters weren't more similar, and in the other I said I wish they were less alike. The thing is, I want to be able to evolve my character in a path not usually their way, like when I made Yuna a badass warrior who did 99 999 damage way before my Auron ever could. But not all "jobs" are available for every character at the start, and when they do become available, they're really expensive. This means that a very specific set of characters are the preferred team, and choosing another team might make the game way too hard. There's no reason to play again, I'm just going to pick the same team that time again. But I still do want it to be a change in what characters I use, but there are no individual attacks or the like, no Limit Breaks or Overdrives. You got the Ecle-whatever Summon-thing, that I guess are different, but the sure felt the same, and I never used them much anyway so the feel pointless. The problem is that this just adds to the blandness of the characters. The Limit Breaks added character in for example Final Fantasy VII. Only Cloud could do the awesome and devastating Omnislash, only Tifa could stack her Limit's on top of each other. Only Cid could call a missile strike from the Highwind, or light a dynamite on fire with his cigarette, because it makes sense, and it builds character.

Yeah, I think I'm done. Well, not really, I never did get to finishing the thing, never got past the last boss, and I do feel that I have to, but just not right now, not for a while, and I'm done ranting, if you did like the game, could get into the characters and so on, fine, good for you, I just really couldn't, and I know many agree with me. But yeah, it hurts seeing a series I love so much get this kind of treatment. I am psyched to see the next instalment, and Final Fantasy XV does look really good. But then again, I have been wrong before.

Final Fantasy XIII - The rant continues

I hate this game. You know, for a game that strives to be fluent and quick, most of the boss fights sure take a long time. I mean, I don't think I have ever had to play this long for one boss, and one try, in any of the Final Fantasy game. At least it didn't feel so long. The duration means that when you die at a boss, after a long and tedious battle (I'm talking at least 15 minutes) you don't have much drive to try again, but in my case, I kind of have to, because if I don't, I have to beat the first stage of the final boss again, and that too is a long and tedious battle. Did you know that the second form, not only has the ability to insta-murder one of your team members, preferly your leader resulting in game over, but when you get near the end of his life, he at times attack you with an attack that not only does as much damage as half your total health points, but it also casts deprotect and deshell, leaving you extreamly weak and easy to kill of. And this shouldn't bother me, I should just go out, fight some bad guys and level up some more, so I can beat him easier, that's logical, right? That's what you usually do in a JRPG, or most RPG's for that matter, when you can't beat a boss, you get stronger and kick his ass. Only THIS piece of rotten garbage of a game decides to put out a bullshit LEVEL BLOCK on my crystarium that they raise at certain points in the game. So guess what, I can't level up more right now, because all my characters are already at their best, which in turn means that I just have to keep trying and trying the same *insert foul word i swore I wouldn't use* strategy until it works. And since every attempt takes FIFTEEN MINUTES, I hope you understand my frustration! I will be sitting here for a good while! That in turn means I HATE THIS ABOMINATION OF A GAME!

And who can blame me? There is no good aspect of this game, that does not have an equally, or worse, flaw. And I can tolerate a lot, I mean I actually loved Final Fantasy XII, which I know not many fans did. But this piece of shit? Just take the crystarium for example. Here we have a system for leveling up, where you spend points to proceed to the next node which gives you either more HP/strength/magic or an ability. And since you don't really have a choice as to where you can go and only can proceed to the next node this was like something done automaticly in other games called leveling up! Now instead I have to guide my light and spend my points, witch takes me away from the game. But that is a minor complaint, because the fact that you can't develope your characters as you want to is a huge flaw. I really feel like none of the characters are special, I feel no need to play through the game with different characters because they're kind of the same anyway. Besides, you don't get to pick your team until the last part of the game anyway.

And don't think I'm done, when I've played through this game and managed to kill the boss, I will be back, I haven't even scratched the surface of the hardened cow manure that is Final Fantasy XIII.

Final Fantays XIII - Let the rant begin

I really hate this game. Despite my efforts, stupid luck is the only thing that matters in this game... I am at the final boss(es) and just to be clear, I am going to try and keep the SPOILERS to a minimum, but won't make any promises. Did I know when I went after the end boss that his second form has an attack that insta-KO's one of my characters? Nope, but I sure found out, and having no idea at all that it could be a good idea to equip some sort of ward against it, I died a lot. And this wouldn't even be a problem in my opinion, if I didn't get game over every time my leader dies. That is nothing but bad design, reducing the battles from somewhat strategic to mostly luck.

You see, the thing about the fighting system is that you are often more lucky than skillfull playing this game. I can go into battle with a hard boss and lose, go at him again, same strategy, and win. And I hate that feeling, because I feel no sense of responsibility. It's not my fault that I lost, and I don't feel that I had any hand in winning either.

And I don't want my victory to depend on what characters I'm using or my equipments special abilities. Why can't the characters be more alike, more flexible to evolve as I like them to? But I'm getting ahead of myself, because I'm not done ranting over this game, because it deserves every harsh word. So why do I even play it. Well, look at my top 100-list and see if you can spot a pattern, especially the top 10. What can I say, a fan's gotta do what a fan's gotta do.

Well, I'm going to bed, tomorrow's my birthday, hopefully I will get through this rotten piece of shit of a game then, and then the rant will continue.